Perfectionism can be the way that we look at ourselves in the mirror with body image, wondering why our body and looks don’t match certain criteria that we hold for ourselves. In our home the way we place everything in a certain way. At work rechecking everything multiple times before submitting your latest report. Perfectionists are usually over-achievers and have extremely high values that they place on themselves in their daily lives. Often a perfectionist’s goals are too high to be achievable but failure is not an option, because this thought doesn’t exist in the perfectionist’s mind.So I want to dive in and look at what perfectionism really is and see if this is you?
As a life coach I have learnt all about what happens with our belief systems as part of my coach training, which included working on my own belief system. Perfectionism is a belief system and something that we have learnt from a young age, through sources like our parents. As children we are like sponges so we pick up, and learn, beliefs from others that surround us. When we become adults these beliefs are carried with us and the impacts of these don’t get addressed until we start our personal development journey.
If you are a perfectionist, and things don’t go “perfectly” for you this leads to judgemental thoughts within yourself. This, in turn, affects your self worth, creating thinking like I’m not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough and many others too numerous to list here. Everyone has some perfectionist tendencies, as that’s part of been human, but I’m talking about when this is taking over your life.
Perfectionism can also be described as the situation where, underneath everything, we are looking for approval from external sources – from our partners, family, friends, colleagues and people we meet. This is building our self worth based on things outside of ourselves, which isn’t healthy.
The aim is to change our belief system to look inward instead, which is much healthier. Then we can start to address how our current belief system works. We want to be choosing self-love, self-acceptance and happiness within.
Transformation can be fun, so lets embrace this and find a few things that you can do to get started on your discovery journey today!
- Grab a journal or computer and have a belief discovering exercise.
Start by journaling things that are currently holding you back. Here are
a few suggested questions to get the ball rolling.
- What do you currently control in your life and, if control was taken away, what would your life look like?
- We need to recognize the expectations that we currently have of ourselves.
- What expectations have we placed on ourselves? Is this realistic for what is achievable? If not what is achievable instead?
- Accepting where we currently are in our journey with no judgement –
- we are all at different points in our journey so just have a look where you currently are, with no judgement, and be accepting of yourself.
- Be realistic with your thoughts and actions.
- Accept what is within your control and recognize what you can’t control, acknowledge that, and let it go.
- Be kind to yourself during your discovery journey